Remembering Abah

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day,

Alhamdulillah, it has been almost a month now that we have lived in the year 2014. Whilst everyone is enjoying their summer break in Malaysia with their beloved family, I decided to stay in Perth and work. Instead of going home, I have brought Mama here to stay with me. Glad that I did. We enjoy every moment we spend together. We're having the most perfect mum and daughter bonding time.

I've come to Perth six months ago to complete my master's degree, been busy with my study and have not write ever since. But I'll never stop. To write is forever in my heart and soul and today I feel like doing so -- the day that marked the fifth year of Abah's passing. 

I have not forgotten him a single day. January 30, 2009 was the most painful day of my life. We were not that close but having to face the fact that I no longer have a father kills me deep inside. Even when writing this, tears start to well in my eyes.

But hey, Abah wouldn't want to see me cry. He knows that I'm strong. And I know that I am.

I shall continue to write. Regularly. This blog of mine will come to live again.

There's a whole lot more that I wanted to share about my life here. I'll do it the next time I write.

In memory of Abdul Razak bin Ngah Tamat (1946-2009). 

Al-Fatihah.

*My previous writings about Abah:

- Selamat Hari Jadi, Abah
- Catatan Satu Hari yang Sedih: H.I.L.A.N.G

Perfect Song

It's just a song, but it tells all that I feel about 'us'. Forgive me. Maybe that 'us' was a long history. And making it a history, isn't something that I'm proud of.

I've been twisting and turning
In a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in
closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been to long pretending
Theres no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
Pieces don't fit here anymore

You pulled me under
If I had to give in
Such a beautiful myth
That's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises
I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Oh don't misunderstand
How I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
But still I don't know why
No, I don't know why
I dont know why...... why...


* * * THE END * * *

Love, Don't Leave Me Tonight

Love, don’t leave me tonight
Please, love, don’t leave me tonight

I need you by my side,
To hold me in your arms,
I’ll try to ignore they are numb.

Love, tomorrow will come,
And you can go your way
Love, and you can end this parade

We fooled ourselves for too long,
We played this game too much times,
We knew it’d never work out,
We hoped love could save us
But what if there’s a new dawn?

Love, tomorrow will come,
And you can go your way
Love, and you can end this parade

We fooled ourselves for too long,
We played this game too much times,
We knew it’d never work out,
We hoped love could save us
But there’s no new dawn...


~ Laura Vall

The Last Song

I almost didn't feel you
You were standing there
We were so close
Yet far apart
in the heart...

I almost didn't hear you
because all the laugh we shared
were left to rot
And the tears we shed
were all history left unspoken

I almost didn't see it
that it was the last song
that we sang together

And indeed
Forgiveness is not an option

Friendship is a tale

It was the saddest end
without us waving hands
without us saying goodbye....

Y.A.N.G.

Yang bersuara, lontarkan...

Yang diam, simpankan...

Yang benci, teruskan...

Yang suka, sokongkan...

Yang betul, tegakkan...

Yang salah, tegurkan...

Yang kelam, terangkan...
Yang terang, jelaskan...

Tapi...

Jangan yang sambung, diputuskan...

Jangan yang ada, ditiadakan...

Jangan yang sayang, dijauhkan...

Jangan yang benci, didekatkan...

Jangan yang budi, dilupakan...
Jangan yang luka, dikenangkan...

Jangan yang hebah, didiamkan...

Jangan yang kawan, diakhirkan...

Terpulang...

Hati tak benci
Tapi kalau dah dibenci
Biarlah
Hilangkan, sorokkan
Putus sahabat, putus kawan
Bukan pilihan

Yang Maha Tahu
Hanya Tuhan...

Das Verdammte Gedicht

Sie
Ich hasse dich zu viel
Wenn ich nur könnte dich töten

Ich hätte es tun können Jahren

es gibt keine Worte

um Ihnen zu beschreiben
Ich werde nicht auf dich bei deinem Namen nennen
Sie verdienen es nicht
Holen Sie sich Ihre eigene Leben, Verlierer
und nutzen Sie die Hölle aus meinem Leben zu


Sie
Wir haben noch nie seit geraumer Zeit gesprochen
Ich hasse dich nicht
aber halt hoffen Dinge werden die gleichen sein wieder
wir sind von zwei verschiedenen Personen
zwei verschiedenen Seelen
widerstreitenden Seelen
Nochmals, ich hasse dich nicht
Dinge einfach geändert
und es könnte Jahre dauern
für alles zu sein wie früher


Uns
Ich weiß nicht

wie Sie uns beschreiben,
weil nichts noch nie gestartet
und ich gebe die Hoffnung
ja, lasst uns einfach so tun, als
wir sind beide Fremden
dass traf zufällig auf der Straße
wir sagten hallo
und dann verabschiedeten wir uns


Auf Wiedersehen...

Selamat Hari Jadi, Abah ♥

Masa aku first day masuk Darjah 1, abah selalu tunggu dekat kantin sekolah bila waktu rehat. Hari-hari abah mesti bawak tupperware kuning susu KLIM gambar lembu dengan bekas air kesukaan aku warna merah corak petak-petak. Aku tak faham kenapa abah susah-susah tunggu aku setiap kali waktu rehat, tiap-tiap hari, padahal aku boleh je bawak bekal sendiri.

Bila aku makan, abah mesti duduk dekat sebelah. Bekal favourite - koeyteow goreng dengan telur mata. Air teh o. Telur mata tu abah dah koyakkan siap-siap, senang aku nak makan. Air teh pun abah tuang siap-siap dalam penutup bekas warna merah tu.

Abah akan tunggu aku makan sampai habis waktu rehat. Bila loceng bunyi, abah kemaskan semua bekas makanan dan lambai sampai aku masuk kelas. Hari-hari macam tu. Sampai lebih kurang dua tiga minggu, aku mula segan bila kawan-kawan gelak tengok abah temankan aku makan. Aku cakap kat abah, lepas ni tak payahlah datang waktu rehat. Aku boleh makan sendiri. Abah mula-mula macam skeptikal, tapi lama-lama dia bagi. Mulai esoknya, aku bawak bekal sendiri. Kadang-kadang abah bagi duit belanja. Aku beli makanan dekat kantin.

Bila dah besar sikit, nak masuk Darjah 6, aku datang bulan. Masa dulu-dulu, memang kurang dapat pendedahan. So, bila first time senggugut, aku panik gila dan nangis-nangis sebab sakit perut rasa macam nak mati, siap mengucap dua kalimah syahadah (kelakar pulak bila ingat balik). Sakit sangat sampai guling-guling dekat lantai. Masa tu pulak tak ada sapa kat rumah, abah dengan aku je. Abah tak tahu aku period, dia ingat aku gastrik. Abah pun letak la minyak panas dekat perut aku banyak-banyak. Tak lama lepas tu, agaknya sebab letih menangis dan berkesan lepas abah urut, sakit tu pun makin kurang sampai la aku terlena.

Entah kenapa dan bila mulanya, tak tahu di mana silapnya, aku makin tak rapat dengan abah. Aku tak suka bila abah ada. Sampai la masa Form 5, aku jadi ketua pengawas. Hari-hari kena datang awal sebab ada roll call sebelum assembly. Aku selalu marah abah sebab drive slow-slow (padahal aku yang lambat bersiap). Bila abah marah, dia drive laju-laju, aku tak puas hati pulak. Ada sekali tu, kereta rosak, abah kena hantar aku pegi sekolah naik motor. Rasa aneh, tapi dalam hati tiba-tiba rasa sayu sangat sebab dah terlalu lama rasanya tak peluk abah.

Bila akhir tahun, aku dapat anugerah cemerlang dan anugerah khas kepimpinan. Masa tu aku dapat nampak muka abah ceria sangat, meleret-leret dia senyum bangga. Lepas je selesai penyampaian anugerah tu, tak habis-habis abah suruh ambil gambar banyak-banyak sambil dia yang tolong pegangkan sijil dengan piala. Aku dah berpeluh ketiak sebab berjubah ala graduan time tu. Tapi bila tengok abah beriya-iya, aku ikutkan je kehendak dia.

Masuk tahun ni, dah tiga kali hari jadi abah tak ada. Masa abah ada dulu, aku tak pernah pun ingat tarikhnya. Kami jarang celebrate birthday abah, malah rasanya langsung tak pernah. Tapi lepas ni, aku janji takkan pernah lupa lagi. Aku takkan lupa doakan abah tiap-tiap hari, agar sentiasa ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang beriman. Nini selalu sayang abah.

Selamat hari jadi, abah... ♥

Al-Fatihah...

Isn't Friendship A Type of Relationship Too?

According to a post here (thank you so much, Sarah), it says so. Even if I go Google-ing for the definition of friendship, here's what comes out.

What? Oh, you never Google for it before? You know, you should! It helps you to understand better. Maybe, it can also help you mend what's broken.

No worries, I'll lend you a hand.

Here are all the links. With complete explanation of what friendship really means. You can click on the sources, they're all links to the full web page.


E-zine : "Friendship is a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of other, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each other feelings. It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are and not what he or she is looking in a good friend. Best friend is one who accepts the good as well bad qualities of his friend and also takes an initiative in correcting and mending them. Friendship is a distinctive kind of concern for your friend, it is a relationship of immense faith and love for each other.

(I intentionally copy-pasted the full article, coz it makes me feel warm reading it over and over again. I hope you read it too.)

Friendship is all about how much you care and understand each other. It is a pure relationship, which would make your friend smile, feel good as to how much you love him and care for him. It is all about talking, listening and building up a strong relationship loyalty among each other. It is string of love which develops gradually with each others involvement. In certain cases friendship may not last for a longer period and might end up or lose its prime importance of love and regard for each other. There are some friendships which might end with unresolved conflicts and tiffs which means that these type of relationship were not so strong that could hold on their own in adversity and bad times. Friendship is not about merry-making and fun it involves equal loyalty from both the partners.

It should be understood that not all friends are best friends. One might come across numerous number of friends in his life but there are very few who will be their during your ups and down. How one should recognize your best friend the one who will understand your strengths and shortcomings and would be with you in all your good and bad phases of life.

A true friendship does not consist of a huge number of friends you keep but it is valued by its worth and capability to hold you and stand by you in all phases of life.That said finding a best friend from among your friends is the hardest task to do. A lot of people say that the best friends automatically come closer from among a group of friends and you will never have to make an extra effort to do find one. That is how the strong bond between true friends is formed.


You can also find it in Wikipedia. Oh, this is sweet. Wiki provides the longest definition with examples and also very fine details.

And this last but not least, from Mwolk.com. It is also as sweet.


So, after all that we shared today, isn't it clear and obvious that friendship (too) is a bond between two friends (or more)?

I haven't come to the understanding of how to not having a bond (ikatan) in friendship. To me, not having a bond (Parti Perikatan kah... atau apa-apa perikatan lah...) is not having the value of true and sincere friendship. I don't get it if anyone thinks that the beautiful bond of friendship is somewhat a burden (beban/kongkongan/ke-terikat-an). It's something you treasure, for the whole time of your life.

Do not get me wrong. I mean no offense. This is an honest sharing. Bear with it if you feel upset because of this post. I'm truly sorry, from the deepest bottom of my heart.

I love all my friends.

I love you.



=)

C.O.M.P.E.T.I.T.I.V.E.N.E.S.S.

A severe disease
Insecurity
Self-comparing
Jealousy
Motivation
Strive for challenge

The love of being perfect
The urge to be better
The need to stand up high
The fear of being looked down at

Persaingan sihat?
Oh...

I aim high.
But it's killing me.


* Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin...

4 A.M

	kiroro - ╧л╤Сюл©║.mp3 .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Ever find yourself missing someone so bad?
And you realize how you can't forget that someone?
You can't even sleep at night
All you can think of is that one person
You feel so bad for being so far away
when all you wanna do is stay close to him/her
And you can't do anything to help it
other than praying to God
that he/she is always safe, happy and loved

Some might think I'm talking about the one I love
My loved one
And you are relating it with your loved one
Your lover.
Your heart and soul.

No, I'm not.

I'm talking about a friend here.
A soulmate.
My best friend.
And friendship.

(so I made myself clear that I'm not talking about any guy in particular, and hell no, I didn't make myself sound gay either, of which I'm not)

I don't have any special someone to miss much
I only have one best friend.
My lifetime best friend
to share everything with
You might say I don't sound normal
But all I know, I love my best friend
That I share my whole life with
and I'm not afraid to say
she's a friend to die with
God made us friends for life and death.

Yeah, you.

You know it's you.

My dearest friend, Jaja.



I know I shouldn't stay up this late
But it feels so bad, I couldn't shut my eyes
I couldn't sleep
It makes me wanna cry
And I'm crying
to think how I can't be beside her
when things are topsy turvy
How I couldn't hug her
when that's what she needed the most
How I couldn't be there for her
when times are hard and things seem so wrong

(Mood transition: Nice Stupid Playground)

How I wish to go back
and make things right
How I wanna sing in the bathroom
and she'll laugh away listening to me
singing off key
How I wish she would be here...

It's 4 o'clock, I know it's late
My heart is so vulnerable at the moment
It sounds of Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
Later it's Kiroro - Best Friend
And I end it up with Alanis Morissette
So that I would be all good.

I hope things are good for you over there too, bestie.

I don't wanna be sick.

I wish I didn't have to be sick.

No, I'm not sick.

I'll come back.

Soon.

♥

What's The Prob?

Caunselor: So, what problems are you having?

Patient: I'm having a severe heartache.

Caunselor: May I have a look?

Patient : (unbuttoning his shirt) There? Can you see it?

Caunselor: Ugh...that looks pretty bad. How long have you been suffering from this pain?

Patient: Since a few years back.

Caunselor: Woww... you must be strong. If it was me, I'd have died long ago.

Patient: The point is, can you prescribe me something? So I can sleep at night and feel less pain.

Caunselor: Unfortunately, there's no cure for you. But only one way...

Patient: Oh, please tell me, what should I do?

Caunselor: Give me your love, and I'll give you mine.

. . . . .

L.O.S.E.R.

I knew your intention
You tried to hurt me
You tried to break me down
But your attempts
are all big failures

I'll never love again
Ich werde nie wieder lieben
You've left me speechless
Du hast mich sprachlos
So speechless
sehr sprachlos...

What I felt for you
was the biggest mistake
I don't know who you are
And you don't know me either
I don't get it, mate
Whatever it is
the game you're playing
You lost it

Ich liebte dich einmal
und ich immer noch
aber was du getan hast
Ich werde nie verzeihen

Maybe you didn't see it
'Cause you need to
take a closer look
Stare hard into the mirror
You lost the battle
and you are indeed

the loser.

A.L. F.A.T.I.H.A.H.

Bila masanya tiba
Tidak sesat lekas
Tidak sesaat juga telat
Alunan Fatihah buat titipan
Doa sebagai iringan
Pergi seorang dia
Pergi yang bukan untuk dilupa
Dijemput Tuhan ke sana
Kembali ke asal kita.

Jangan menangis, sahabat
Kita pasti bertemu nanti
Di sana yang telah Dia janji
Di sana yang kekal abadi
Medan ini hanya untuk kita singgah
Dan perjalanan selepas ini
sesuatu yang pasti.

Aku menangis bersamamu, sahabat
Jangan ratapi hiba ini
Aku bersama-mu
Kami bersama-mu
Selalu...


** Takziah buat keluarga sahabat-ku, Safwan Husaini atas kepergian nenda-nya tercinta menyahut seruan Ilahi. Mari bersama menitip doa buat Allahyarhamah. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan kasih sayang Ar-Rahman. Al-Fatihah...

Not So Sunday

All my life, I've never felt this way.

I know I have no problem with rejection.

I can live with it.

But this time, I think I do.

I don't need no care, in fact, I just want to care.

But still, if I'm unwanted here, I'll just leave.

You got my hands down.

No words needed to be said.

But, I don't want to end it this way.



And even today is Sunday, it doesn't feel like Sunday.

O.D.I.A.R.E.

Tolong, Tuhan...

Aku cuba bertahan.
Ya, aku tahu.
Aku benci rasa ini.
Rasa yang buat aku turut sakit.
Aku benci kamu
yang menjadi punca rasa ini.

And above all
I hate you more
because everytime I do
I just couldn't make myself to...

forget you...


Odio tu perche tu non sei qui.
A un mio male giorno...

Rest In Peace, Beautiful Soul

Chase away all the fears
Fight it all away from tears
Never let it haunt you
Cause you know He loves you more
More than all of us do
When the time has come
we would have to let you go
We'll pray for you
Deep and close
from our hearts

And so, you left us here
He wouldn't wait a moment longer
neither would He make it a second faster
that's a promise kept
Do bear in mind, my dear brother
Death is not the end of everything
It is just a step to the start
of a long journey
that awaits every living soul
So hold yourself tight
Do not shake or break
When the time comes
We shall meet again
surrounded by the faith
that He brings

Rest in peace, beautiful soul
God loves you...




~ Belasungkawa buat Allahyarham Firdauz Mazlan yang menghembuskan nafas terakhir tanggal 16 Mac 2010. Semoga roh Allahyarham dicucuri rahmat Allah S.W.T. dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Al-Fatihah...

R.U.N.S.I.N.G. : S.U.R.R.E.A.L. P.A.I.N.

Musika : Kosong - The Click Five
Rasa : Kosong juga


Tak tahu apa rasa ini
Tak pasti kenapa jadi begini
Tapi jadinya tika kala sunyi
Bila kau pergi
Sepi
dan telefon-ku tak berbunyi.

Kamu puncanya
Aku juga puncanya
But I didn't mean to blame you, dearie
'Cause since the moment I got to know you
You've become a part of my life too
Kamu pun tahu
rasa ini yang datang
entah dari mana
bukan juga atas sebab apa-apa
terus tumbuh
It's simply unstoppable
and unexplainable too
buat kamu, adik-ku
untuk kamu, sahabat-ku
hanya pada kamu, teman-ku.

Kalau Tuhan dengar ini
Aku mohon buat kamu tiada henti
Doa tiada putus terlahiri
supaya kamu baik-baik saja
Semua buat kamu
yang tiba-tiba menyepi
lalu buat aku runsing sekali.

Ingatkan kamu
Risaukan kamu
Rindukan kamu
Marahkan kamu
Benci kamu
Sayang kamu...


Se tu hai qui, io spero tu guidi e sentiri.
Che io desidero parlare con tu.
Io prego per tuo allegro e io non desidero tu sei male.
Perche io... pura pura amo tu.


Transisi audio : Menimbang Rasa - Oslan Husin

Saya Akan Baik-baik Saja

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


Sepuluh kali post pun tak apa, saya terlalu suka lagu ini, lebih-lebih lagi pada masa begini. Buat saya dan kamu... ya, kamu-lah... =)



That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I'm overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good whether with or without you...



* Hey, kamu yang di sana! Kamu buat saya mahu ber-musika-lah! Jangan risau, saya janji tak akan sedih-sedih di sini... =)

Selepas Tayangan: Muallaf

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...





Setelah sekian lama menanti, akhirnya dapat juga saya menonton filem Muallaf. Semasa tayangannya di pawagam, saya tidak berkesempatan pergi menonton. Lalu, hasrat yang sudah lama terbuku itu tercapai-lah sudah. Terima kasih, FACT Film Screening Club kerana menunaikan hajat saya malam tadi.

Muallaf yang ditayangkan malam tadi adalah versi pertama yang dikeluarkan pada tahun 2007 iaitu tanpa tapisan dialog tak bersuara dan tanpa babak akhir menunjukkan Brian bersama ibunya. Disebabkan proses pengubahsuaian yang sedang dijalankan di dewan Pancha Delima, tayangan telah dijalankan di Bilik Seminar Kolej Puncak Perdana. Keadaan di situ amatlah tidak selesa, tempat duduk yang terhad dan paling mengecewakan, kondisi audio yang sangat buruk. Walaupun saya cuba untuk kurang mempedulikan masalah-masalah ini, ia terlalu jelas mengganggu suasana penontonan pada malam tadi.

Bagi saya, Muallaf mencapai tahap contentment tertinggi yang sukar saya jelaskan berbanding pengalaman menonton filem-filem arwah Yasmin Ahmad yang lain sebelum ini. Muallaf juga seolah-olah lambang pencarian yang panjang yang telah (atau hampir) berakhir dengan penemuan. Kesemua karya Mak (dalam kiraan saya bermula dengan Rabun) seperti satu pendakian. Dimulakan dengan merangkak, bertatih, pandai mengajuk dan mencuit-cuit, dan yang terakhir iaitu Muallaf, saya kira karya beliau sudah pandai menjerit, bersuara lantang dan menangis nyaring dalam sayu. Saya selalu percaya filem-filem yang bagus tidak semestinya menggalas isu yang berat-berat. Tapi ini berlainan dengan Muallaf.

Isu agama, Tuhan, kepercayaan (dan pastinya tak lupa, cinta dan kasih sayang) dibangkitkan. Kesemuanya menjadi tanggungjawab buat penonton menghadam, berfikir dan membuat konklusi mengikut fahaman masing-masing. Jadi, saya membuat kesimpulan bahawa sesetengah penonton yang mengaku dengan terus terang mereka tidak memahami Muallaf adalah golongan penonton yang tidak bertanggungjawab kerana malas berfikir (atau langsung tak mahu berfikir) lalu mengambil keputusan untuk tidak memahami. Tetapi saya hormat setiap pendapat, penilaian setiap orang adalah berbeza.

Pada penilaian saya, tiada apa yang terlalu tersirat dalam Muallaf. Ya, saya akui setiap perlakuan, dialog dan babak membawa maksud tersembunyi yang amat mendalam maksud setiap satunya. Pada mulanya saya juga sedikit keliru dengan nombor-nombor yang sering disebutkan Rohana. Tapi dengan perlahan-lahan saya faham yang disebutkan itu adalah surah-surah (dari Bible dan al-Quran). Semuanya jelas terpapar sepanjang cerita. Persoalan agama (Kristian dan Islam), perbezaan fahaman yang mendalangi pemikiran manusia dan diskriminasi yang wujud tanpa disedari dalam hati-hati manusia.

Kasih sayang yang amat mendalam antara Rohana dan Rohani dipaparkan dengan indah sekali. Kebencian menggunung di hati Brian terhadap agama dan keluarganya berakhir dengan kesedaran dan cinta. Pencarian dan kekeliruan terungkai mudah setelah ruang perubahan terbuka. Saya amat menyukai suasana melihat Rohani berkali-kali mengucup pipi dan dahi adiknya. Saya gemar melihat Brian yang akhirnya memutuskan untuk membuka hatinya (dari aspek cinta, kepercayaan dan kasih sayang terhadap keluarga yang cuba dinafikannya). Penggunaan perlambangan yang terlalu halus tak pernah lari dari setiap karya sentuhan Mak. Brian yang kedekut taik hidung masin hingga sanggup memandu kereta perlahan demi menjimatkan petrol, tiba-tiba pada pengakhiran cerita memecut keretanya dengan laju, memberi lambang pembaharuan dan penghijrahan.

Terlalu banyak perkara menarik yang ingin saya perkatakan tetapi kerana faktor emosi yang mengganggu, hanya ini yang dapat saya kongsikan. Saya terlalu tersentuh ketika babak Rohana dan Rohani berbaring di katil sebelum tidur. Pelbagai perkara mereka bualkan. Namun pada baris "I miss Mak" itu akhirnya buat saya tumpas juga.

Sesi Q&A bersama Syarifah Aleisha dan Arianna yang berlangsung selepas tayangan juga saya rasakan menarik. Dua adik beradik comel ini ternyata mengagumkan saya dengan gaya bersahaja mereka menjawab pertanyaan yang diajukan, cukup matang berbanding usia mereka yang masih muda.

Perasaan saya senang sekali, akhirnya dapat juga saya menonton Muallaf. Saya tak menangis ya tadi, saya cuba tahan, tapi ia keluar juga. Eh, jangan salah sangka tau, saya memang tak menangis tadi.

Only God knows how much I miss Mak...

Perginya Seorang Anuar Nor Arai

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


Saya sedih sekali dengan perkhabaran duka ini yang saya terima petang tadi. Jujurnya, saya memang tidak kenal Allahyarham secara peribadi, secara dekat. Tapi kewujudan beliau sebagai pensyarah kami dahulu amat saya segani. Kereta merah beliau yang 'cool' itu pasti akan sentiasa saya ingati, kerana itulah perkara (atau objek) pertama yang mengaitkan saya untuk mengenali beliau buat julung kalinya.

"Fuii...ni gempak gile ni! Kereta student ke?"

"Bukan, dowh... Ni kereta Dr. Anuar Nor Arai la."

Lebih kurang begitu konversasinya. Sa-bermula itu, lebih banyak tentang beliau saya dengari dan kagumi. Malah, saya berkira-kira bilakah agaknya saya dapat mendekati beliau ini, ber-kuliah dan ber-diskusi bersama beliau mungkin. Namun harapan saya hampa kerana kemudiannya beliau tidak lagi mengajar di F.A.C.T. UiTM dan bertukar angin ke ASWARA.

Hingga menerima berita ini, saya merasakan terlalu sedih atas pemergian beliau. Semestinya, keberadaan beliau di hati-hati kita takkan pernah pudar.

Perginya seorang Anuar Nor Arai.

Tiada pengganti.



Al-Fatihah...




Foto ihsan dari Aidi Rahimi



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