August 28, 2014

Tak Susah Pun Menulis

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Cuma kita yang tak pandai cari masa. Bagi alasan sibuk, banyak kerja, buat itu buat ini. 

Penipu.

Kita semua penulis. Sama ada secara lahiriah kita menulis atau tak, hakikatnya jauh dalam diri kita ada jiwa dan naluri seorang penulis yang tinggal mahu atau tak mahu saja keluar menunjukkan diri, secara terang pada umum mahupun tersembunyi.

Baru-baru ni aku kehilangan Mama yang teramat aku sayangi. Hari ni genap hari dua puluh lima. Allah dah ambil Mama dari kami, nikmat cinta dan kasih sayang seorang ibunda yang Dia pinjamkan sekejap dan sementara di dunia. Abah juga, lepas lima tahun Abah tak ada, Allah jemput Mama pula. Aku terima semua dengan berlapang dada. Semoga Allah temukan kami semula nanti di syurga. Allahumma amin... :)

Lagipun, Allah dah kata:

Every soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned. 


~Surah al-Anbiya: 35


Mama pergi dalam tenang. Aku redha, dan takda apa yang aku sesalkan walau tak sempat tatap wajah Mama untuk kali terakhir. Sedih, ya sedih. Tipulah kalau langsung tak menangis. Tapi bila ada kawan-kawan yang tak putus-putus beri kata semangat dan turut mendoakan, aku jadi kuat. Lagi pula, apalah sangat kehilangan yang aku rasa ni kalau nak dibandingkan dengan saudara-saudara kita di Gaza, Palestin, Syria, Rohingya. Hilang keluarga, hilang harta, hilang nyawa, hilang semua. Allahurabbi...

Insya Allah aku kuat. Hidup perlu diteruskan.

Sekarang tinggal beberapa bulan nak menghabiskan sisa-sisa pengajian di sini. Aku akan pulang dan tinggalkan kau, wahai bumi Perth. Kau buat aku jatuh cinta. Tapi hati aku ada di sana, tertinggal di Malaysia. (Eh?) :P

Terus menulis ya, Zahara.

Insya Allah :)



Tengok ni. Mana mungkin aku tak kuat? 😊

Terima kasih ya, kamu si penulis misteri. Sayang kamu 800% :) 😘❤️


January 30, 2014

Remembering Abah

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day,

Alhamdulillah, it has been almost a month now that we have lived in the year 2014. Whilst everyone is enjoying their summer break in Malaysia with their beloved family, I decided to stay in Perth and work. Instead of going home, I have brought Mama here to stay with me. Glad that I did. We enjoy every moment we spend together. We're having the most perfect mum and daughter bonding time.

I've come to Perth six months ago to complete my master's degree, been busy with my study and have not write ever since. But I'll never stop. To write is forever in my heart and soul and today I feel like doing so -- the day that marked the fifth year of Abah's passing. 

I have not forgotten him a single day. January 30, 2009 was the most painful day of my life. We were not that close but having to face the fact that I no longer have a father kills me deep inside. Even when writing this, tears start to well in my eyes.

But hey, Abah wouldn't want to see me cry. He knows that I'm strong. And I know that I am.

I shall continue to write. Regularly. This blog of mine will come to live again.

There's a whole lot more that I wanted to share about my life here. I'll do it the next time I write.

In memory of Abdul Razak bin Ngah Tamat (1946-2009). 

Al-Fatihah.


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