December 23, 2010

Giving Me A Self-Reward

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


I believe that giving yourself some kind of reward will boost up your spirit - your mood and everything. No need to spend on something expensive. Be it a new jeans, a nice ring, or maybe just a lil treat to McDonald's, a reward makes you feel good and accomplished. Sometimes, the littlest thing or the most regular shopping you do is more than enough.

Today, I had a great time with my sister and my brother in law. I love hanging out with my family more compared to friends (but I do love all my friends dearly). I feel safe and I know I won't do things I shouldn't - especially on the amount of money I spend and the stuff I buy.

This semester was a rough one. So many things happened - the happy ones and the sad ones. I was super busy, I almost died in tonnes of assignments, the result was not the best I could get but I feel grateful for I didn't fail any subjects. And then there were some personal matter and argument and... sigh.

So, I decided that I've been successful for getting through all these. Phew! And, I deserve some reward for myself. Today was the day.

Tonight, I get to spend some time with my sister *thanks to Abang Amin for taking us there*. I've been whining weeks ago to go to the cinema and watch a movie. And tonight was the night. Yay! Finally...

Back to the post title, I was talking about self reward. Yeah...this is a reward for myself, for working so hard the whole semester, for coming back and fro - Shah Alam, Taiping, Kajang, Shah Alam, Taiping, Kajang, whichever one comes first - and for doing well during the interview at Astro Awani. I think they like me. Weehoo!

So, here are the things that I self-rewarded myself.


~ Chicken ham and cheese takoyaki balls (love it! love it!)

~ Chicken rice claypot

~ A new pair of Vincci pump shoes (Vincci okayyy... with discount. LOL!)

~ A whole bag of pink marshmallows (dunno what's the flavor, it's plain. Maybe bubblegum)

~ Caramel popcorn! (I always get the lite n' sweet popcorn at GSC, but it's TGV. They don't have it)

~ A movie Kak Limah (it's Abang Amin's treat - adding up the joy... wink wink!)

~ And a feel-good blog post... =)


The movie really made my day. I was thinking to write a review on it, but I hadn't write one for so long, I'd probably write more shit out of it. Just a quick one, it was a good movie. Highly recommended. So, go and watch it for yourself!

Oh, it's late. I better get some sleep.

Buona notte.

December 16, 2010

Fear

‎"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith," Mary Manin Morrissey said to me, one night.

I looked at her.

I was watching Malcolm In The Middle when she suddenly entered my room.

It was a Tuesday night.

I smiled and told her, "So, I must stand strong and have no fear."

"There you go." She walked to the door.

"I know you're strong, girl. Good luck."

She slammed the door shut, and I woke up.


December 12, 2010

Mari Bercakap Bahasa Inggeris: Episod 1

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...

Aku tanya, kenapa agaknya bahasa kedua ini sangat penting bagi kita semua? Sebab ia bahasa yang global. Sebab satu dunia faham bahasa ini. Sebab ia boleh bawa kita pergi jauh. Sebab dengan mahir dalam bahasa ini, boleh bantu kita setanding dengan orang-orang dari negara luar sana. Oh?

I didn't know any English words since I was a kid. Memang langsung tak ada pendedahan. My family does not speak English, dari moyang ke nenek ke datuk ke makcik pakcik ke mama ke abah ke adik beradik. We only speak Malay, bahasa Melayu sahaja. So, it's kinda hard for me to excel the subject in school. Until I was in Standard 3, cikgu English masa tu adalah Miss Khoo (rasanya cikgu ni pun dan meninggal dunia, lama dah, so this post is somehow a tribute to her... thanks teacher).

Cikgu ni dah tua pun masa tu, tapi belum kawin. Dia memang garang gila. Tiap kali masuk kelas muka ketat nak mampus, rasa nak terkencing kalau dengar dia marah. So, I was one of those (not-so-smart) kid in the class, selalu bermasalah dengan subjek yang diajar beliau iaitu bahasa Inggeris. Ini sungguh merunsingkan, kerana dalam subjek lain, boleh dikatakan I was on the lead (cewah!)- Maths especially. Tapi English? Haihh...

Setiap kali subjek English, cikgu ni suka suruh build a sentence based on perkataan yang dia bagi. Basic words je, macam table, rubbish, eraser, dustbin... perkataan bodo-bodo je. Tapi aku tak pernah cuba angkat tangan dan try buat ayat. Memang tak tau dan takut salah, pastu malu. Yang selalu jawab masa tu, the non-Malays dan yang Malay, Nurul Huda. Beliau sangat pandai English. Saidatul pun. Tapi aku tak pandai, kerana ter-sangat bengap dalam English waktu tu, perkataan-perkataan macam tu pun rasa susah sangat tahap Add Maths mahupun Fizik dan Kimia. Jadi selalunya bila time English class aku diam je, padahal kalau waktu subjek lain memang ter-sangat bising mengalahkan ayam (yang comel).

Satu hari tu, Miss Khoo panggil aku datang depan kelas. Dia baru lepas mark kerja sekolah yang dia bagi semalam. Aku kena marah depan kelas. Dahla jawab soalan banyak salah, bila buat corrections, nak eja 'CORRECTIONS' tu pun berterabur salah. Dahla eja correction salah, jawab semula soalan dalam correction tu pun boleh salah lagi. Sampai kena buat corrections of corrections. Gila bengap. Dia tanya aku kalau ada masalah nak faham apa dia ajar. Aku tipu, kononnya aku faham tapi tu semua careless mistakes. Jahat gila, kecik-kecik dah pandai menipu masa tu.

Lalu, disebabkan rasa bengap yang sudah lama berlarutan itu dan aku makin tertekan (konon la, pressure belajar subjek Darjah 3 katanya), aku pun ambil keputusan untuk tulis surat kepada Badan Kaunseling. Dekat tepi Teachers' Room ada satu kotak untuk student yang rasa bermasalah letak surat mengadu masalah. Jadi aku pun buat-la seperti yang dinyatakan di atas.

Esoknya, lepas rehat Miss Khoo panggil aku datang jumpa dia. Dah rasa nak terkencing time tu. Aku fikir kena marah lagi-la nampaknya ni. Rupanya tak. Masa aku jumpa Miss Khoo, dia senyum. Langsung tak nampak marah.

"Awak ada masalah dalam Englsih?"

"Saya... saya tau saya tak pandai, teacher."

"Awak bukan tak pandai. Awak lemah saja, dan awak rasa rendah diri."

"Uh... ma... mana cikgu tau?" *kena ada gagap-gagap sikit, baru dramatik.

"Mesti-la saya tau. Saya kan cikgu kamu."

Aku nangis kat situ gak. Aku cerita betapa aku tak pandai English, eja 'Corrections' pun salah. Dan aku jeles aku tak se-pandai budak-budak lain dalam kelas tu. Miss Khoo kata, nak belajar English kena selalu practise. Macam naik basikal, kena hari-hari kayuh. Baru pandai. Ada lagi yang dia cakap tapi aku dah lupa. Cuma yang aku ingat, tiba-tiba aku rasa sungguh ber-motivasi masa tu. Berkobar-kobar untuk belajar English.

So, dalam kata dah terlambat jugak nak bermula dari basic, aku tebalkan muka pegi library dan pinjam story books untuk Darjah 1 macam Snow White, Sleeping Beauty... yang satu page ada satu ayat je tu, aku baca semula merangkak-rangkak. Biar tak faham, aku tengok kamus. Hari-hari aku baca. Dah rasa terer sikit, aku pinjam buku yang hebat lagi. Sampai ke novel. Dan aku still ingat buku English pertama yang aku berjaya baca sampai habis, tajuk dia 'The Wind in The Willow'. Best cerita tu. Ada Mr.Mole, Mr. Badger, Mr.Frog. Adventure habis.

Dalam class pun aku dah berani speaking-speaking dengan budak-budak Chinese dan India. Aku jadi rapat dengan diorang. Masa tu paling sikit berkawan dengan budak Melayu, diorang tak suka belajar. Aku sekolah Convent, so budak Melayu pun tak-la ramai sangat dan ramai yang kaya-kaya je tapi poyo berlagak nak mampus.

Naik Standard 4, aku dah jadi tutor dalam SAL Project, kira macam program adik angkat la, ajar English dekat budak-budak Standard 1. Rasa bangga sangat. Itu pencapaian paling best aku rasa. It was as if I really went from zero to hero. Cool oh.

Sampai sekarang, aku belum la tip top sangat pun dalam English. I can write well (ok-lah, not so well) lintang pukang je campur-campur. But when it comes to speaking, aku banyak bergantung dengan environment - orang-orang yang boleh aku berborak dalam English dan tak rasa aku cuba berlagak best.

Itu yang aku cuba tingkatkan sekarang. Sebab aku menyesal sikit, baru-baru ni ada dapat call regarding the internship, dari Astro Radio. It was somehow an interview through the phone, mungkin untuk mengesahkan placement aku di Astro nanti. The lady asked me to briefly tell her about my background and experiences. I stammered A LOT. Coz I wasn't ready. And my mind went blank. After I hung up, I thought I did it really bad, I almost blew it away- the chance. But I thought again, they already picked me. It was only for the placement and if I blew it, maybe boleh dapat department lain? But radio is good enough though. Entah la.

Justeru, atas perasaan tidak enak ini-lah yang melahirkan rasa untuk menulis post kali ini. Tiba-tiba teringat Miss Khoo, zaman sekolah dulu-dulu, macam mana I tried really hard to be good in English, macam-macam.

Menulis post di blog ini pun kira satu bentuk latihan jugak. So, if there's any mistake grammatically ka, spelling-nya ka, feel free to correct me.

Sekian, terima kasih.

December 9, 2010

Nervusa

Mi dunno se mi spiko la lingua italia.

Ma, ora mi strata nervusa per mia placementa.

Mi ho non idea dove mi futura interno lavoraro.


Mi non maniaco.


Haha.

December 2, 2010

SMS Gumbira

Hari ni aku dapat SMS gumbira. Ter-sangat.

Orang pertama yang aku harus beritahu, semestinya Mama.

Tutt... tuttt... Aku call Mama, tapi tak berjawab.

Tiba-tiba, ringtone mesej berbunyi. Nama Mama tertera.

Mesej dibaca.

"Ninie call Mama ke tadi? Ma tengah latihan nasyid ni."

"Oo...yeke... takde pape. Nak bagitau je, Ninie dah tau result exam. Alhamdulillah... DL, Ma..."

"Syukur sangat, alhamdulillah. Tahniah, cyg. (short form feveret Mama). Tuhan dengar doa Mama."

Aku terkedu. Tersyahdu seketika. Rasa nak menitis air mata bila Mama sebut ayat terakhir tu.

Memang betul. Aku ingat, selama ni kalau aku berusaha mati-matian, ditambah dengan doa tak henti, mesti aku akan berjaya. Aku silap. Aku lupa. Tanpa doa Mama, tak mungkin aku terima apa yang aku terima hari ni. Even doa aku saja tak cukup untuk buka pintu rahmat Tuhan, tapi doa seorang ibu, lebih makbul dari segala-galanya.

"Mekasih, Ma... Sayang Mama... =)"

"Sama-sama. Cyg Ninie juga. Ni, tadi Mama amik Chung balik umah sebab Tuk Alang masuk spital, ada kawan la balik si Tam tu. Tapi Tam duk panjat si Chung, Tam dah tak kenal Chung, dia ingat Chung kucing betina. ... bla bla bla..."

Panjang pula cerita Mama pasal kucing-kucing tu.

Aku senyum. Aku tak peduli pun kalau kucing-kucing di rumah tu nak jadi adik beradik kucing gay, tapi apa yang Mama cakap tadi masih berbekas dalam hati aku.



Betul. Tuhan dengar doa Mama...

Syukur...

Terima kasih, Ma...

Terima kasih, Ya Rabb....

November 28, 2010

In Love

I am so in love with you.

I mean it.

In fact, I fell in love with you years and years ago.

I know I was only 14 when I first saw you, but...

... our age differences is not the issue. Right?

Even if you're married, I don't care.

There's just one problem.

I don't know what my mum and my family would say if I take you home.

We're of different country, culture and religion.

But I love you very much, don't know if they could understand.

Whatever it is, let us not worry about it.

Play me Claudine, and kiss me good night.

Molto amo tu...

Максим Мрвица...






November 22, 2010

Trial

There are too many things I'm going through.

Too many to tell.

Failing, and losing...



They're just not my thing.

November 16, 2010

Mari Mengemas

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


It's weird how I like to keep old stuff. Whenever I get the mood of mengemas (this shows that the mood comes VERY rarely, maybe once in months, or years, or decades), I could find things that even I couldn't remember I once owned. Like, right now I am in the middle of this good mengemas mood, it is when I find my Biology book - you know, that long science book of notes I wrote myself when I was in Form 4. Siap ada nama kelas lagi, 4 Qayyum. Hah!

After all these years, looking at your Biology notes gives this feeling. It's unbelievable that I was once a Science student. With all the diagrams and anatomies I drew, science terms like 'arterosklerosis', 'mitosis' and more sis... looking at those stuff, it made me smile. Tak percaya rupanya dulu pernah mampu menjadi seorang Science geek, tapi sekarang... sumpah dah tak ingat semua tu lagi dah. Haha!

Other than that, I found a cute notebook with flowers, hearts and coffee cups - the kind of book which girls LOVE to have as a biodata book - haihh... zaman sekolah sangat-la sweet ye. I remembered it was a birthday present from Lydia when I was Form 2. I still keep it and haven't even draw a scratch inside it. Sayang nak guna, sebab comel sangat.

Then, there are SOOO many pieces of junks I wrote like poems (poyo dari dulu lagi sebenarnya), doodles yang buruk sebab tak reti melukis and the rest of things which are all rubbish. So, ada yang dah tak berapa mengingatkan memori manis, I just throw them away. All the way to the plastik sampah. Yay! Dah berjaya kurangkan semak.

Entah-la, this isn't a good habit though, menyimpan barang sehingga semak is not a good thing. Ditambah pula jika anda seorang yang malas mengemas (seperti saya ini). But, like the famous saying, old habits die hard. Oh, yes. The large bouquet of dried roses I got during my convocation pun baru saja dibuang. Fuhh! After more than a year! Lepas dah puas tengok selama setahun, baru-lah dibuang. Tahniah.

I better get back to pack things up before I write more blabs.

Oh! Selamat Hari Raya Korban! Salam 'Iduladha...!

*I feel so good tonight. After being somewhat emo yang berpotensi untuk mencederakan diri sendiri, we finally put it to an end. It all got off my chest and I feel so free. We're good again. Alhamdulillah... =)

November 14, 2010

New Songs Update

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


This time tak banyak. Just five songs.

And I can't resist Red Sparowes. Love their music.


Check out those songs in my new playlist. *If you care to do so lah.

Tak susah.

All you need to do is leave my blog open on your tab.

The song will play on its own. *ouh... perlu-kah saya explain... huu...

And then tell me what you think about the songs.

We might share the same taste of music.



Grazie...!

November 3, 2010

Cuti Life Updates

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


Due to some mis-komunikasi, I had to remove a post that is quite radical and emotional. Yes, I'm emo (read: not being emo is not being human). So, here, I don't mean to write another reply macam surat cinta yang panjang berjela yang mungkin disalah tafsir lagi. But the good part of it was, rupanya there are still some people yang do read my (full-of-crap) blog. Terasa diri masih diambil tahu (*smile). Honestly, nothing gives a better feeling for a loner (like me) to be cared for by other people. Serius, terharu!

Ok, dah melalut. Let's just talk about me instead.

I started my break slightly earlier than my other friends because of the fact that I've no final exams to sit for. So, yay! It's me-time again and I can do everything - watch TV, read books, eat a lot, play games, watch movies - as much as I want. Throughout the semester, it had been a tough one and I hardly have time for myself and do things I want. Memang chaos, I didn't get enough sleep, assignments berlori-lori, makan tak betul time, and some things went wrong. Macam-macam.

In the middle of keserabutan yang tak terkawal tu, I followed a class trip to Taman Negara, Pahang. We had a great time. It's a part of the assignment we were asked to complete, which is mengkaji peralatan yang digunakan oleh Orang Asli - kaum Bateq. It's an artifact-research subject. So, we met the cool Bateq tribe, memang kuno habis but they're very friendly. They speak bahasa Bateq and Malay, some speak English - sebab dah banyak jumpa tourist mat saleh. Memang cool. And to go from place to place, they use boats. And so did we. Memang gerun naik bot di tengah Sungai Pahang- the water was super deras, sangat adventure for white-water rafting. All I had in mind was, "Jangan-lah terjumpa buaya!"

Tak ada pun buaya. Ikan banyak la - ikan patin masak gulai tempoyak. Fui...!

After the visit to Kampung Bateq, we went swimming. Yep, mandi di Sungai Pahang. Masa tu memang dah lupa diri. Best ouh dapat mandi sungai!

Back from sungai, everybody was wet and worn out - berendam 4 jam dalam sungai sangat best dan meletihkan. Malamnya, there was acara karaoke-sampai-lebam-tak-ingat. Some of us rupanya ada bakat terpendam, but I didn't sing. Bad cough that time. Uhuk uhuk.

The next day, we went trekking in Hutan Simpan Taman Negara. I was among the last, dah lama tak memanjat, semput jugak-la kiranya. But I made it to the 300m canopy, Jambatan Gantung yang sumpah tinggi. Dalam bergasak memanjat, I made friends with some tourists. There were a sweet old couple from Holland - forgot their names, Natalie and Alex from Switzerland and Marco from Italy. Meeting Marco was the best part because I spoke to him in Italian and he replied me well - maknanya dia paham la. Cewah! Aplikasi pembelajaran bahasa ketiga di sekolah.

Later that day, we got back to Shah Alam. I got road sick. Dah lama tak naik bas. We stopped at Genting Sempah and I grabbed some McD and suddenly terus okey. LOL.

Second story, a few days before the trip, I got selected to be involved in the Astro Challenge Workshop. Out of those people who got far more fluent English, I got selected though I speak with my English yang tunggang langgang ini. Be it. I was there for two days. We were put in groups, mixed with those from Masscom and Business Study. We were brought on a tour all around the building and the workplace. Best jugak but the place is big, so penat juga berjalan. Hoho... (fatso! fatso!)

Oh yes! Nak juga include di sini, I met some celebrities during the time berada di Astro. When we were brought to the radio conty, there were Ferhad, Serena C., Khairil 'Krill' and a few more radio announcers. Then at the cafe, I saw Reza 'Kata Kau' (entah kenapa, tak paham why lah I adore him since Kelab Pop lagi... haihh!), then there were Adam C. (oh my! He's so cute! Sekarang dah terlambat nak rasa menyesal sebab tak cakap 'Hi!' waktu tu... LOL?), and a few pelakon TV. Pastu yang paling best, I saw Maher Zain! He saw me too (cewah!) and smiled. Haha! Mula-mula cuba kawal diri, I didn't wanna show my excitement sangat, but it was so obvious, akhirnya tak boleh kawal diri lagi and I screamed to him "I love your songs!". He smiled and laughed a lil. Adoi. Segan pulak bila ingat balik, but seriously, he is super cute. I mean, sebab wajah beliau putih dan suci lagi menyejukkan hati emak-emak mertua. LOL.

Okay. Back to Astro Challenge. I was in the Delta Group. My group sangat kecoh - and tak kurang juga yang tunjuk bagus but I really don't give a damn. We played games and had a mini mind-map presentation, we got the best group out of the rest for both activities. Hurrah!

For the second day, terpaksa lebih serius dan formal. No more games. We were meeting those big people of Astro Broadcast Department. We were to present our ideas on how to make Astro relevant to the youth. I was so nervous, but I did my part quite well though. But we weren't the best group for presentation - some other group got it. Takpe-lah, I wasn't putting high hopes anyway. Then, after the penyampaian and stuff, balik-lah ke rumah.

The good news is, yesterday I got an SMS from Cik Suzee from the Astro Challenge. In the message she wrote, "Congratulations! You are the Top Performers during the Astro Challenge Workshop! (*smiley) We are pleased to offer you Internship opportunities in Astro. You will receive the Internship letter soon. Please check your email for further details."

I was like... is this for real? I didn't take it so seriously pun during the workshop, but alhamdulillah... Rezeki dari Allah. Finally, there's something I can be happy about. I was thinking to throw a celebration party (exaggerate je nih) but I ended up celebrating it on my own. Hurm...

This break has a long a way to go. I plan to work, but I guess I'll be needing my good time to rest more. Plus, with the check-ups and doctor's appointment, I think I'll just chillax at home and pray for my result. I hope I'll get good grades. Need to pray hard for my pointer. Amin...

Have a break. Have a Kit-Kat. *tapi Kinder Bueno pun sedap. Hoho!

October 29, 2010

My New Best Friend

Macam tukar baju
Kawan-kawan pun begitu
Boleh tukar selalu
Boleh pilih mana satu
yang kau suka dan mahu.

Dicari dirayu
Bila saja kau perlu
Andai mahu dibantu
Seboleh mungkin dicari aku
Tapi bila ada kawan baru
Kau pergi berlalu
Tinggalkan aku
termanggu-manggu.

Entah aku pun tak pasti
Apa aku yang salah
Tapi sumpah aku tak kisah
Apa-lah susah
Kawan-kawan lain bersepah
yang lebih mengerti
dan tahu menghargai
yang sudi menangis bersama
bukan ada masa ketawa saja.

Bukan membenci
Bukan merajuk
tapi cuma penat
Kata kau.
Dan aku yang makan hati
tapi tak suka dipujuk
namun aku bukan cuma alat
buat kepentingan kau.

Tapi jangan kau risau
I'm doing just fine
without you.

And don't you worry
I'm not judging you
After all we've been through
After all the things I did for you
Everything is meaningless
Now that you chose
to have distances keeping us apart.

I've my new best friend too
and for sure that friend is not you
I enjoy my time being lonely
with my new best friend named ME.

But we're still friends.
That's the plan.
And we'll always be friends
Till the end.


October 19, 2010

Writing Academically

Citarasa perasaan manusia yang bersifat subjektif akan membentuk nilai estetika yang indah. Keindahan menyedarkan keperluan manusia. Ia berpunca daripada natural compulsions iaitu perasaan terdorong secara semulajadi terhadap sesuatu objek atau kejadian. “Important moral, ethical, and philosophical ideas are taught in every show, while entertaining the audience at times with roaring humor and special action-packed scenes.” (Harris, 2009)

Tahap kesempurnaan manusia boleh dicapai apabila manusia berjaya untuk melepaskan diri dari belenggu–belenggu materi duniawi (obstacles) yang sering kali menipu dan menjerat. Dengan mencapai tahap kesempurnaan (teori harmony, menurut Santayana) seseorang manusia akan lengkap dari segenap aspek – mental, fizikal dan spiritual. Malah, seorang manusia dikatakan mencapai kesempurnaan dan menjadi manusia yang hebat (super man) atau Übermensch, menurut Friedrich Nietzsche. Dalam konteks Kosi dan Serawi, setelah berjaya melalui semua rintangan dalam pencarian Raja Seri Rama, boleh dilihat sebagai super man kerana mampu mengatasi kesemua aspek halangan dalam pengembaraan mereka.

Secara tuntasnya, segala teori dari lima ahli falsafah yang diutarakan mempunyai relasi antara satu sama lain bukan disebabkan mereka memiliki ilmu yang sama, tetapi kerana semua ilmu di dunia ini datangnya dari Allah dan ia adalah mutlak milikNya sahaja, sumber segala sesuatu. Dia berhak memilih untuk menurunkannya kepada sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya tanpa mengira agama. Memetik sepotong kata-kata dari Jean-Paul Sartre, “I have no religion, but if I were to choose one, it would be that of Shariati's (iaitu syariat Islam)."


: : Alhamdulillah... I'm almost out of the chaos of completing tonnes of assignments. There are just a few more to go and it is not so much driving me nuts anymore. As you read above, that was the conclusion of my philosophy findings as we were asked to write an essay relating wayang kulit Kosi and Serawi with the philos from five different philosophers; Andre Bazin, Henri Bergson, George Santayana, Immanuel Kant and Friedrich Nietzsche - now I've no problem to spell their names correctly, LOL!

At first, it was kinda exhausting to know what is so special and important to find the truth out of what these philosophers were saying. But getting deeper and deeper into it, I understand better. I thank God for giving me the chance to learn this subject; of which I found my self-discovery and self-completion. I realize it brings me to another level of thinking. And I'm completing the tasks not just for the sake of getting good marks, indeed it is a no-ending journey towards finding yourself in you. Most importantly, the seek of knowledge brings me closer to God. It never feels this good and I am calmer than before. Alhamdulillah.

Through the subject too, I just got myself another good news but that isn't yet to be revealed. I'm all excited! All praises to Allah.

Really, thanks Lord... =)


: : And oh, just to have an escapism for a while, we're going to Paramore, baby....! Woohoo! : :

October 14, 2010

Lagi... Socrates yang Cakap, Bukan Aku

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods. ~Socrates



Having less wants, I am nearer to Allah. ~Me

October 8, 2010

Important Things I'm About to Miss but You SHOULD NOT...!

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


There are so many things happening this weekend. I'm taking this opportunity to somehow promote these events that involve many important people in my life. This (too) is some kinda my biggest apology for not being able to attend and be a part of all these events.

First...

1st poster
*credit to Shazlan Photographer


KAKI LIMA Cinephoto Exhibition
Pudu Sidewalk

9th. & 10th. October 2010
(Saturday & Sunday)
8.00 am - 5.00 pm
Admission : Free

*poster taken from here

credit to Baju and gang

Second...


Honours Stage (HOST)
Must-watch show :
Oedipus directed by Fasyali Fadzly
Perkarangan Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka (DBP)
9th. & 10th. October 2010
(Saturday and Sunday)
Admission : RM 5 only

*Poster design: Credit to Byxura Photography


Last but not least...

BCSMTKRC: A short film
*All the best to Jaja, Zairul, Hans, Zul and the rest of the production team!
(pedulikan yang lain, I know you guys can do it....!)


I'm off to Taman Negara today - we're going to dig and hunt for some artifacts yaww! Hope it would be fun though I have to let go of these important events I've been looking up to. I wish everybody the best of luck...!


October 3, 2010

Busy + Sick Life Updates

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


Seminggu ni... kerja berlambak... I've been working like a pig (cuter, no? or like a buffalo? mana-2 lah....) less time to have fun + going out + sleep = M.I.S.E.R.Y.


Until I fell sick... I need Mama more than anything else...

Runny nose... fever... so not my favourite...


But some good things did happen though...


I received two awards during Anugerah Kecemerlangan Akademik... woohoo! There were the MPPs, all the award receivers (the DLs, Anugerah Pelajar Harapan and our handsome dean... cewah!)
*and yeah... for the group picture, I was looking somewhere else (atau mungkin jugak tengah mengumpat...!)



Me with my girls... my besties... my BFF... ♥ ♥ ♥
(ya... ya... I'm that fatso... need some workout...)


K.a.m.i. aka Us... (after all the formalities, we turned out being gila-gila, just the way we are)


Kudos to Wewe the photographer for the day... you rawk, babe!
(yea, sure we're gay... you got prob, mate? haha...)


And back with tonnes of assignments... and more assignments... and... MORE ASSignments... *sigh...

It's Saturday! My sis took me out and we gained some weight. Haha! Nice....

Since I'm sick, I could hardly finish those 5 pieces of meatballs.
(but it made me feel way way way better... TQ Hayoyom & Abg Amin!)



... and some activities to cheer me up...!


Now I can sleep with all the hearts and love on top of my bed... I just love wall stickers...!


Sometimes, being ME is a whole lot of fun...!


Some blog readers think I'm a guy... duh... (well, I don't know if I'm gay...LOL!) so I put up some photos of me and more me... see? I got no gender confusion problem, just some overweight issue... blah blah blah....

September 19, 2010

Socrates yang Cakap, Bukan Gua

I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled [poets] to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean. ~ Socrates

*
Taken from somewhere down there.

September 18, 2010

C.O.M.P.E.T.I.T.I.V.E.N.E.S.S.

A severe disease
Insecurity
Self-comparing
Jealousy
Motivation
Strive for challenge

The love of being perfect
The urge to be better
The need to stand up high
The fear of being looked down at

Persaingan sihat?
Oh...

I aim high.
But it's killing me.


* Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin...

September 1, 2010

Hingusan Menulis Blog

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...

It's weird reading your own posts in your own blog. It is even weirder to read the posts years and years ago when you know nothing about blogging. Serius kelakar ni! I was about to start working on my assignment when I suddenly happened to have the urge to check the traffic feed. A visitor from Hamilton just walked by 21 hours ago reading on the post I wrote back in 2008. Kalau dulu, kira dah habis gempak-lah ni sebab konon kalau ada trafik dari luar negara masuk tu kira dah satu kebanggaan yang amat hebat-la kiranya. Haha...

So, dengan sengaja terus pula rasa nak membaca balik post tersebut. Hahaihh! Kelakar-nya rasa macam nak berguling-guling! Memang lawak baca balik apa yang ditulis masa dulu-dulu. Memang rajin betul rupanya dulu menulis benda bukan-bukan. Bak kata orang, memang tahap tak ada kerja sangat-lah. Dengan bahasa tunggang langgang, English ke laut. Memang hampeh!

But I'm not ashamed of what I wrote. Tak rasa pun nak men-delete semua post yang merepek meraban tu. Those posts have helped me becoming me today. Kalau tak mula menulis merapu pada umur waktu itu, mungkin hari ni pun I would still write rubbish - entah-entah sekarang pun masih menulis macam sampah. Tapi apa yang paling ironi, masa menulis sampah tu bukan main ramai komen masuk. Seronok sebab bila ada komen, maknanya ada orang yang sudi baca post tersebut. Tapi sekarang ni lain, ada orang baca ke tidak, peduli apa.

Sampai sekarang macam masih segan nak mengaku blogger. Kalau ada orang yang sudi baca, alhamdulillah. Tapi cukup tak suka kalau berjumpa orang di luar menegur atau menyapa dengan nama di blog. I am a totally different person on the outside. As a blogger, call me Mapieceofart. And please do spell my name correctly. Haha!


Gambar tiada kena mengena dengan topik dibincangkan.
Saya rindu ini budak.
Sangat.

August 26, 2010

I'm All Good

You ran
I walked
Kau menyanyi
Aku berpuisi
Kau memandang
Aku melihat
You talked
I thought
Kau diam
Aku bisu
You hurt
But I'm all good.

Kau berjanji
Aku bersumpah
Kau berlagu
Aku termanggu
You laughed
I smiled
Kau rapuh
Aku patah
Kau hancur
Aku lebur
You rot (in hell)
But I'm all good.

Hey,
aku memang begini
baik-baik saja

You?



Tralalaaa....

August 19, 2010

Nature Disaster

Kilat
petir
ribut
taufan
tsunami
mendung
dah reda.

Sekarang cuaca dah cerah semula
Cuma kadang kadang
hujan turun juga renyai renyai.

Aku bawa payung
Kau?
Mari sini kita kongsi
Jangan-lah bodoh
jangan sombong
Nanti kau basah
sakit
demam
kau yang susah.



*Kawan kawan tak mo lawan lawan... hoho...

August 16, 2010

W.I.S.H.L.I.S.T.

Bulan puasa
tahun lalu
aku tunggu
kau datang
tapi kau
tidak muncul
jadi ini
aku tulis
senarai panjang
mahu aku
sebagai ganti
juadah berbuka
kita berdua.

Tidak banyak
cuma mahu
supaya kita
dapat jumpa
buka puasa
sama sama
atas meja
semua ada
kuih karipap
ayam percik
sirap bandung
murtabak daging
bubur lambuk
puding jagung
cucur keria
laksa asam
ais kacang
aku suap
kau jamah.

Jadi gantinya
tahun ini
aku siap
beli semua
buat kita
berbuka sama
cuma tapinya


...kau tiada.


* Abah, I miss you... dah dua kali puasa tak ada dengan Abah... really miss you, Bah...




Ini menu wajib ada kalau berbuka puasa dengan Abah dulu-dulu.
Bubur lambuk.
.. =)

*gambar cilok dari sini

August 13, 2010

Eid Mubarak!

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


Alhamdulillah, Ramadhan is here again. How I miss the month full of barakah, a month of God's forgiveness and love, thousands of grants from Allah, free of charge. Erm...pergi tarawih tak? XD

Most people are eager when Ramadhan comes because they probably are celebrating Raya more and the fact that it is only another month away. But they forget how Ramadhan should be celebrated more than Syawal just because the fasting month seems too long and hot and dry and tiring. No? Bagus!

Nah...not another series of blabs and emo (as some people claim) expression of how my day sucks and I'm sick and lonely. Here, I'd like to share a video of Maher Zain, of my faourite song, Always Be There. Who's being there for you all the time? No, not your best friend. Not your loved ones.

Allah.

He's always there for you and me.



And here's the lyrics.

Alllahu Akbar… (Allah's The Greatest)

If you ask me about love
And what i know about it
My answer would be
It’s everything about Allah
The pure love, to our souls
The creator of you and me,the heaven and whole universe
The one that made us whole and free
The guardian of HIS true believers
So when the time is hard
There’s no way to turn
As HE promise HE will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE’s always watching us, guiding us

So when the time is hard
There’s no way to turn
As HE promise HE will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE’s always watching us, guiding us
And HE knows what’s in our little hearts

So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
As HE promise HE will always be there…

HE bring ourselves from the darkness into the light
Subhanallah praise belongs to YOU for everything
Shouldn’t never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow HIS guidance all the way
Through the short time we have in this life
Soon it all’ll be over
And we’ll be in His heaven and we’ll all be fine

So when the time gets hard
There’s no way to turn
As HE promise He will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE’s always watching us, guiding us
And HE knows what’s in our little hearts

So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
As HE promise HE will always be there…

Allahu Akbar…

So when the time gets hard
There’s no way to turn
As HE promise He will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE’s always watching us, guiding us
And he knows what’s in our little hearts

So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
As HE promise HE will always be there…

Allahu Akbar…



A beautiful song it is. I hope you'll love it too.



Salam Ramadhan al-Mubarak...!

August 2, 2010

Bored?

Try this... click HERE...




...or this... click HERE...




Enjoy your ride.

You're most welcomed.

July 30, 2010

Critics

To tell you the truth, I don't have any problems of what other people has gotta say about me. Critics are fine, they help you to get better. But in terms of making (or writing) a good critic, you have gotta be neutral, balanced and positive. Not bias, destructive and making it sounds more like a brag. No, a condemn. You brag.

It is my friends you're talking about, buddy. You have no idea how much they sacrificed and worked hard for it. And that critic, was way far too much to be constructive. Don't think of a compliment, it sucks.

But then again, you're good, buddy. REAL good. Keep it up with more critics.

July 26, 2010

4 A.M


kiroro - ╧л╤Сюл©║.mp3 .mp3


Found at bee mp3 search engine


Ever find yourself missing someone so bad?
And you realize how you can't forget that someone?
You can't even sleep at night
All you can think of is that one person
You feel so bad for being so far away
when all you wanna do is stay close to him/her
And you can't do anything to help it
other than praying to God
that he/she is always safe, happy and loved

Some might think I'm talking about the one I love
My loved one
And you are relating it with your loved one
Your lover.
Your heart and soul.

No, I'm not.

I'm talking about a friend here.
A soulmate.
My best friend.
And friendship.

(so I made myself clear that I'm not talking about any guy in particular, and hell no, I didn't make myself sound gay either, of which I'm not)

I don't have any special someone to miss much
I only have one best friend.
My lifetime best friend
to share everything with
You might say I don't sound normal
But all I know, I love my best friend
That I share my whole life with
and I'm not afraid to say
she's a friend to die with
God made us friends for life and death.

Yeah, you.

You know it's you.

My dearest friend, Jaja.



I know I shouldn't stay up this late
But it feels so bad, I couldn't shut my eyes
I couldn't sleep
It makes me wanna cry
And I'm crying
to think how I can't be beside her
when things are topsy turvy
How I couldn't hug her
when that's what she needed the most
How I couldn't be there for her
when times are hard and things seem so wrong

(Mood transition: Nice Stupid Playground)

How I wish to go back
and make things right
How I wanna sing in the bathroom
and she'll laugh away listening to me
singing off key
How I wish she would be here...

It's 4 o'clock, I know it's late
My heart is so vulnerable at the moment
It sounds of Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
Later it's Kiroro - Best Friend
And I end it up with Alanis Morissette
So that I would be all good.

I hope things are good for you over there too, bestie.



I don't wanna be sick.

I wish I didn't have to be sick.

No, I'm not sick.

I'll come back.

Soon.



July 22, 2010

Life's An Illusion


Salam ukhuwwah fillah...

At some points in my life, I once felt like giving up hope. There is no point of living, to strive and study and fight and fulfill my ambition, I thought. That was when times were hard and troubles seemed endless and I was out of solution and choices.

I read a lot on Philosophy (as a subject and my life knowledge) as well as sufism. It's just a new field I'm interested in. I read from somewhere that life is an illusion. Imagine you are alone in the middle of an ocean, there's a terrible storm and you've got nowhere to go. All you need to do is close your eyes and accept the whole situation with the thought that all that comes to you is an illusion. In God's will, all will be gone in a blink. What's the word, pasrah? Yes. Having that level of calmness in your mind state is the highest range of wisdom in believing in God. God owns it all and He's The Almighty. He's the most powerful of all.

O man, the words are so powerful when I read it. (and oh, how I suck in telling things...) I should find the source where I found it again.

I've gotta get to know God better, it feels like I drifted far far away from Him nowadays. I'm no good, trust me I'm bad, not at all as how I look like on the outside. I'm trying hard to be a better person. Trust me, I'm trying real hard.

I appreciate my life more than anything else now. I love Mama, my friends...no matter how life sucks, I still have them who love me. Praise to God.

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you, Allah.




Yes, I listen to Maher Zain a lot nowadays.

Thank you, Jaja. Much love...

July 17, 2010

W.A.L.A.U.



Bila pun aku...

Menangis - ketawa - diam - tak bicara - mengadu - sendu - bisu - kaku - ceria - senyum - sedih - bahagia - gembira - celaru - keliru - benci - cinta - rindu - sakit - marah - pilu - cemburu

Aku tahu
Hanya kamu
yang faham aku

Lalu ini aku bilang
"aku sayang kamu, sahabat..."

Dan bila pun...

Pencuci muka-ku cair
Colgate-ku kempis habis
Syampu-ku berkurang
Sabun-ku luak

Tapi
Sekali dia bilang maaf
Aku tak hirau lagi
Aku senyum
kosong-kosong...

*asalkan dia berubah... itu doa-ku...

July 14, 2010

FACT Film Shorts


~ Rabu ~
~ 14 Julai 2010 ~
~ 8.10 malam ~
~ Dewan Pancha Delima ~
~ Bangunan Akademik UiTM Puncak Perdana ~


Masuk percuma.

Ada sesi Q&A.

Nak duduk depan, sila datang awal.


Jumpa nanti.

=)


July 9, 2010

Me and More Me-Thing

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...

I'm back in the old routine - classes - faculty programs and activities - screenings - hanging out with friends and more stuff. Life's getting more challenging than ever that I need to have better time management and less time to have fun. But, it's just the beginning of a new semester, so there are much more to come.

My friends and I are planning on our shooting for Kebaya. Insya Allah, all that what we have planned since last semester and during the break will be done soon. I'm excited and nervous at the same time.

Regarding my health condition, the pain struck again few days back. I took pain killer and more pain killer to reduce the pain. I don't know where would this lead me to, I'm still waiting for another appointment. I really need to go through the surgery ASAP. I can't stand it any longer. The pain stops me from doing anything, all I can do is lying down in bed all day. I couldn't sleep at night and all I can think of is popping more pills. It's killing me slowly.

I pray for the best of everything - the shooting - my study - my health. Pray for me too.

=(

July 2, 2010

When School's Over

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


I met Kam, my old friend from school today. It was great to have a long talk, sharing old stories of the times we once had been through together. There were Kam, Arip and Rakna, my best friends. All four of us were in the same class when we were in Form 2. Though each one of us have lead different lives now (in different universities and different places) but we still keep in touch. Once in a while, we meet up somewhere, have a drink or a movie. They're my best friends.

When I was 14, I remember how I thought it would be great if I didn't need to go to school. I was so eager to turn 18 and get the hell out from school. After PMR, we seperated. Rakna moved to Perlis, Kam and Arip went to MRSM. I stayed and was elected as the head prefect. I was proud to be chosen out among the boys but honestly, I didn't like it, much. I was too busy with the school discipline and stuff, and I didn't do my best for SPM. I didn't get straight A's and my application to matriculation was rejected. It was my dream to go there. And so, I ended up pursuing diploma. My plea for the second intake to matric was accepted though, but the day they called and informed me about it, I was already registered for diploma.

Life was good, but I had to accept the fact that diploma took 2 years longer compared to matric. But God's the fairest of all, I studied hard and was awarded the best student. Alhamdulillah. After graduation, I furthered for degree, until now.

I came to realize, after so many years and no matter what I do, my friends are still there for me. It's been more than 8 years now, and we're still good friends like old times. And I'm really glad for that.

In school, life seemed so easy back then. But when we're all grown up, things changed. But I'm grateful for one thing that will never change; our friendship.

School life was the greatest. I wish I could turn back time. There are no problems bothering, all we have to do is study and study and do well in exams. School's the best place to make friends, lifetime friends.

Thanks to all my friends - from kindergarten, primary school, secondary school and university. I love you guys...


=)

June 30, 2010

Anak Cik Maimon...??

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


Yes, the title said it all... well, have you ever listen to a song and find the lyrics contain your name? I did...! I was in the car riding home from Penang. My mum, my sister, her hubby and lil baby Adif were there in the car too. As usual, with them in the car I wouldn't get to tune in to Fly FM, Hitz or at least Hot FM. My mum was on control and it was for sure her favourite oldies radio station. Suddenly, I heard my name in one of the songs. It stated my name in full, seriously hilarious and I spontaneously burst out laughing. My mum laughed too. Except for one thing; my mum's name is not Cik Maimon.

I searched for the song and here it is. Haha!




Oh Ibu! Tolong Lamarkan by Othman Hamzah


He's the same guy who sang the song Gadis Melayu (of which was sung by Jamal Abdillah in a new version).

There are so many girl's name in a song. I took some effort to make a list. And here they are :

1) Sephia - Sheila on 7
2) Anna Molly - Incubus
3) Cassie - Flyleaf
4) Jenny - The Click Five
5) Oh, Carol - Neil Sedaka
6) Kamelia - Sweet Charity
7) Juwita - M.Nasir
8) Jesnita - Exists
9) Billie Jean - MJ

...and the list goes on. From the list, we can see that Malay songs are likely to have a girl's name for the title. But there are not quite a number of songs with a guy's name, right? Nobody ever wanna put Karim anak Pak Maun or Malcolm oh Malcolm for a song title (example), is it? At least in the lyrics, if not for the title... Can you name a few?

Well, I just found one for you John! The song was performed by Arctic Monkeys. I linked it on your page, dude... But just in case if you wanna see it again, here's the song... Put your dukes up John!


Arctic Monkeys - Put Your Dukes Up John .mp3


Found at bee mp3 search engine


Okay, I think I'm not really well today. I guess I just feel honored to have my name in the song. But even so, my mum thinks I'm going nuts because I've been singing the lines all day. Woohhoo...!

(apsal entah rasa excited sangat dengan lagu ni... haha!)

" Kuingat Namanya Zahara
Kata Tetangga Ia Rajin Di Dapur
Ibu Takkan Bersusah Punya Menantu Zahara
Gadisnya Rajin Berumah Tangga

ku Harap Ibu Segera Lamarkan
Pada Zahara Anak Cik Maimon
Walau Ia Tak Pandai Berdandan
Asal Saja Pandai Di dapur "


Yeah... I know I'm a bad cook... but at least the song says I'm not...

XD


June 29, 2010

S.L.U.R.P.E.E.

Kamu datang
macam Slurpee
warna hijau
sejuk segar
di tengah hari panas
waktu aku
duduk menangis
seorang diri
pegang bunga
mawar plastik tipu.

Kamu datang
macam Slurpee
warna biru
bila aku
duduk termanggu
depan 7-Eleven
tatkala itu
Slurpee hijau
tiada dijual.

(Slurpee biru pun okey juga)

Kamu-lah
Slurpee itu.


Terima kasih ya, kamu.

=)


*yep, i LOVE Slurpee...! Wee....

June 21, 2010

Not Forgetting You: The Cats and Abah

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


Time moves so fast, sometimes I couldn't catch up with everything that changes around me. How life changes. And so am I.

I don't mean that I've changed into someone different. I'm still me, the same old me you knew for almost 20 years ago. So, whoever tells you that I'm no longer me, I'm gonna chop their heads off. Seriously.

That's not what I'm gonna write about. As usual, I just couldn't make myself speak direct/straight-forwardly about anything. I'm sad, a little. We (my family and I) had been talking about this for so many times. For somewhat seems like centuries, we love pets and keep them like the extra members of the family. I couldn't name out the cats (those dead cats and the ones we're still keeping) 'cause there are just TOO many of them.

For now, we have six cats - Bubulala the mother and the kittens, Bubu Doll, Bubu Tamtam, Bubu Chung, Bubu Nome and Bubu Lang. But the number is growing (to ten, probably) because Bubu is once again pregnant. For that reason, my mum said, that's it. We have to put them away. We love them, it's true, but it turns to troubles to look after them - and feed them, and bathe them, and clean their wastes. Not to mention hygiene (is that how it spells?) and health issue. Now we have little baby Adif with us, it is no longer a good thing to let them scatter around.

We tried to do the best we could. We still care for them. My mum was calling almost everyone she knows and asked if they want to adopt the kittens. Bubulala is the least wanted 'cause she's pregnant and will produce hundreds of kittens in times to come - she is a productive mother. After all the tries, my mum managed to get one of her friends who wanted to have three of the kittens. The rest she doesn't want, we'd have to put away as well. If only there's a place like SPCA around Taiping, we wouldn't have to do it.

As we expected, nobody wants Bubulala the mother cat. So, we decided to throw her away first. And so just now, me and Mama (with our strong hearts) drove her in the car to a market far away from home and left her there. It's the saddest thing to do, but we really had to. I asked my mum if we should take off the collar with bells tingling on Bubu's neck. My mum refused, she said she didn't want anything that would remind us of Bubu, not a single memory of Bubu. And so my mum put a fish and some Friskies for her to eat so she wouldn't be hungry until tomorrow and find her own food for the next meal. I cried silently. Tears rolling down my cheeks. I hugged Bubu so tight before letting go. The last time I cried so hard was when Coeng died and Abah past away.

We drove away but Mama stopped the car by the roadside a few seconds later. We sat there, dumbfounded but when Mama burst into tears, I hugged her. (how stupid, I was crying so terribly and at the same time I asked Mama to stop crying). It was so sad.

When she felt better, we drove home. We passed the spot where Mama left Bubulala once again, and there she stood glancing around in curiosity.

Bye bye Bubulala, I still have my thumb drive named after you. Gonna miss you... =(

Bubulala when she was little and first came to our home

I took the last pic of her before taking her into the car =(


Today is Father's Day...! I'm happy to read all the wishes my friends wrote on Fb. But I couldn't be happier if I can do the same thing and wish Abah. I still remember when I was 15, I need to complete and essay for an English homework. It was Father's Day and we were asked to write for our dear fathers. As I mentioned before, Abah wasn't so close to me back then and I didn't know how to do it. Finally, I chose to write a letter for the essay and was keeping it away from Abah so he would not read it. In the essay, i wrote those things I wished I'd have the guts to say to Abah. It was one touching letter and I still keep it in my Form 3 English Essay book until today. Whenever I read that essay again, I will surely cry to myself.

I still miss you, Bah. And I'm not going to forget you. This is one of (a few) pictures I have of Abah. We don't take much photos those days. And I regret it.

Miss you more than ever... Happy Father's Day, Bah...


June 14, 2010

All Mixed Up

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...

Just now it's Rocket by Yuna, now it's Certain Shade of Green by Incubus. How the songs are changing, how my emotions are all messing up in my head... that's how things are happening in my life... Yea right, it's now Take A Bow by Muse...

Good things first... Results were out, and I got the grades I deserve. Alhamdulillah... *wink!

I've been limited to the net during this break. (ini pun belas ehsan abang pinjamkan Broadband). So, once in a while I still get to update my blog, Facebook and stuff. I'm still figuring out how do I get my application for PIDN JPA Scholarship done. It says on the web it is done online (fill-in-the-form) but a friend told me he downloaded the form, filled it up by hand and posted it. So, I'm all confused. I'll find some time to call them directly, there's not much time before the closing date. Maybe I'll give them a call tomorrow.

But tomorrow I'm afraid I wouldn't have any time. Early in the morning, I have an appointment with the doctor. Yay... here's the bad news. Hell no, I wasn't diagnosed with lung or liver cancer like some people claim they were (hoho you know who you are, bast*rd...). No, I wasn't. It's just that the doctor told me that I have gall bladder (is this how I spell it?) And it is now chronic. I don't know how bad it is getting. I've been reading the articles from the internet about the symptoms (yes, I have all of them), the treatments (though I'm not sure I'm still able to cure it without having an operation) and more stuff about it.

I was working part time for this time of break. It's boring to stay home. But on the fourth day, I had to quit 'cause I had a terrible stomach pain. It was slight pain at first so I ignored it assuming it was my usual gastric. But it wasn't gastric. I went to the doctor, got a few injections and he got me scanned the next day. I've developed gallstones in my gallbladder - batu dalam hempedu. Many people have this disease but mostly it can become serious when you are 40+. But Lord, I'm just 20+... (and according to plot flow, the music's now changing to Neuron Star Collision by Muse.)

I need a surgery - cholecystectomy - gallbladder removal, he said, as soon as possible. My Lord, I'm too young to have my gallbladder removed. I was pretty scared and still am. I don't know when will it be, tomorrow's gotta decide. Mama told me it will not hurt that much. It's not that I'm gonna die or anything... but, that doesn't help me feel any better either.

Everybody's sick at the moment. My sisters aren't well, my cat, EVERYBODY... but in my case, it causes me to worry more. I am worried.

People, pray for me. I always want to be in the pink of health. I pray to God. Insya Allah...

(and the final song is Stay Beautiful by Taylor Swift... I hope things will end this way too...)

Hugs...
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