June 14, 2010

All Mixed Up

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...

Just now it's Rocket by Yuna, now it's Certain Shade of Green by Incubus. How the songs are changing, how my emotions are all messing up in my head... that's how things are happening in my life... Yea right, it's now Take A Bow by Muse...

Good things first... Results were out, and I got the grades I deserve. Alhamdulillah... *wink!

I've been limited to the net during this break. (ini pun belas ehsan abang pinjamkan Broadband). So, once in a while I still get to update my blog, Facebook and stuff. I'm still figuring out how do I get my application for PIDN JPA Scholarship done. It says on the web it is done online (fill-in-the-form) but a friend told me he downloaded the form, filled it up by hand and posted it. So, I'm all confused. I'll find some time to call them directly, there's not much time before the closing date. Maybe I'll give them a call tomorrow.

But tomorrow I'm afraid I wouldn't have any time. Early in the morning, I have an appointment with the doctor. Yay... here's the bad news. Hell no, I wasn't diagnosed with lung or liver cancer like some people claim they were (hoho you know who you are, bast*rd...). No, I wasn't. It's just that the doctor told me that I have gall bladder (is this how I spell it?) And it is now chronic. I don't know how bad it is getting. I've been reading the articles from the internet about the symptoms (yes, I have all of them), the treatments (though I'm not sure I'm still able to cure it without having an operation) and more stuff about it.

I was working part time for this time of break. It's boring to stay home. But on the fourth day, I had to quit 'cause I had a terrible stomach pain. It was slight pain at first so I ignored it assuming it was my usual gastric. But it wasn't gastric. I went to the doctor, got a few injections and he got me scanned the next day. I've developed gallstones in my gallbladder - batu dalam hempedu. Many people have this disease but mostly it can become serious when you are 40+. But Lord, I'm just 20+... (and according to plot flow, the music's now changing to Neuron Star Collision by Muse.)

I need a surgery - cholecystectomy - gallbladder removal, he said, as soon as possible. My Lord, I'm too young to have my gallbladder removed. I was pretty scared and still am. I don't know when will it be, tomorrow's gotta decide. Mama told me it will not hurt that much. It's not that I'm gonna die or anything... but, that doesn't help me feel any better either.

Everybody's sick at the moment. My sisters aren't well, my cat, EVERYBODY... but in my case, it causes me to worry more. I am worried.

People, pray for me. I always want to be in the pink of health. I pray to God. Insya Allah...

(and the final song is Stay Beautiful by Taylor Swift... I hope things will end this way too...)


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