December 23, 2010

Giving Me A Self-Reward

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...


I believe that giving yourself some kind of reward will boost up your spirit - your mood and everything. No need to spend on something expensive. Be it a new jeans, a nice ring, or maybe just a lil treat to McDonald's, a reward makes you feel good and accomplished. Sometimes, the littlest thing or the most regular shopping you do is more than enough.

Today, I had a great time with my sister and my brother in law. I love hanging out with my family more compared to friends (but I do love all my friends dearly). I feel safe and I know I won't do things I shouldn't - especially on the amount of money I spend and the stuff I buy.

This semester was a rough one. So many things happened - the happy ones and the sad ones. I was super busy, I almost died in tonnes of assignments, the result was not the best I could get but I feel grateful for I didn't fail any subjects. And then there were some personal matter and argument and... sigh.

So, I decided that I've been successful for getting through all these. Phew! And, I deserve some reward for myself. Today was the day.

Tonight, I get to spend some time with my sister *thanks to Abang Amin for taking us there*. I've been whining weeks ago to go to the cinema and watch a movie. And tonight was the night. Yay! Finally...

Back to the post title, I was talking about self reward. Yeah...this is a reward for myself, for working so hard the whole semester, for coming back and fro - Shah Alam, Taiping, Kajang, Shah Alam, Taiping, Kajang, whichever one comes first - and for doing well during the interview at Astro Awani. I think they like me. Weehoo!

So, here are the things that I self-rewarded myself.


~ Chicken ham and cheese takoyaki balls (love it! love it!)

~ Chicken rice claypot

~ A new pair of Vincci pump shoes (Vincci okayyy... with discount. LOL!)

~ A whole bag of pink marshmallows (dunno what's the flavor, it's plain. Maybe bubblegum)

~ Caramel popcorn! (I always get the lite n' sweet popcorn at GSC, but it's TGV. They don't have it)

~ A movie Kak Limah (it's Abang Amin's treat - adding up the joy... wink wink!)

~ And a feel-good blog post... =)


The movie really made my day. I was thinking to write a review on it, but I hadn't write one for so long, I'd probably write more shit out of it. Just a quick one, it was a good movie. Highly recommended. So, go and watch it for yourself!

Oh, it's late. I better get some sleep.

Buona notte.

December 16, 2010

Fear

‎"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith," Mary Manin Morrissey said to me, one night.

I looked at her.

I was watching Malcolm In The Middle when she suddenly entered my room.

It was a Tuesday night.

I smiled and told her, "So, I must stand strong and have no fear."

"There you go." She walked to the door.

"I know you're strong, girl. Good luck."

She slammed the door shut, and I woke up.


December 12, 2010

Mari Bercakap Bahasa Inggeris: Episod 1

Salam ukhuwwah fillah...

Aku tanya, kenapa agaknya bahasa kedua ini sangat penting bagi kita semua? Sebab ia bahasa yang global. Sebab satu dunia faham bahasa ini. Sebab ia boleh bawa kita pergi jauh. Sebab dengan mahir dalam bahasa ini, boleh bantu kita setanding dengan orang-orang dari negara luar sana. Oh?

I didn't know any English words since I was a kid. Memang langsung tak ada pendedahan. My family does not speak English, dari moyang ke nenek ke datuk ke makcik pakcik ke mama ke abah ke adik beradik. We only speak Malay, bahasa Melayu sahaja. So, it's kinda hard for me to excel the subject in school. Until I was in Standard 3, cikgu English masa tu adalah Miss Khoo (rasanya cikgu ni pun dan meninggal dunia, lama dah, so this post is somehow a tribute to her... thanks teacher).

Cikgu ni dah tua pun masa tu, tapi belum kawin. Dia memang garang gila. Tiap kali masuk kelas muka ketat nak mampus, rasa nak terkencing kalau dengar dia marah. So, I was one of those (not-so-smart) kid in the class, selalu bermasalah dengan subjek yang diajar beliau iaitu bahasa Inggeris. Ini sungguh merunsingkan, kerana dalam subjek lain, boleh dikatakan I was on the lead (cewah!)- Maths especially. Tapi English? Haihh...

Setiap kali subjek English, cikgu ni suka suruh build a sentence based on perkataan yang dia bagi. Basic words je, macam table, rubbish, eraser, dustbin... perkataan bodo-bodo je. Tapi aku tak pernah cuba angkat tangan dan try buat ayat. Memang tak tau dan takut salah, pastu malu. Yang selalu jawab masa tu, the non-Malays dan yang Malay, Nurul Huda. Beliau sangat pandai English. Saidatul pun. Tapi aku tak pandai, kerana ter-sangat bengap dalam English waktu tu, perkataan-perkataan macam tu pun rasa susah sangat tahap Add Maths mahupun Fizik dan Kimia. Jadi selalunya bila time English class aku diam je, padahal kalau waktu subjek lain memang ter-sangat bising mengalahkan ayam (yang comel).

Satu hari tu, Miss Khoo panggil aku datang depan kelas. Dia baru lepas mark kerja sekolah yang dia bagi semalam. Aku kena marah depan kelas. Dahla jawab soalan banyak salah, bila buat corrections, nak eja 'CORRECTIONS' tu pun berterabur salah. Dahla eja correction salah, jawab semula soalan dalam correction tu pun boleh salah lagi. Sampai kena buat corrections of corrections. Gila bengap. Dia tanya aku kalau ada masalah nak faham apa dia ajar. Aku tipu, kononnya aku faham tapi tu semua careless mistakes. Jahat gila, kecik-kecik dah pandai menipu masa tu.

Lalu, disebabkan rasa bengap yang sudah lama berlarutan itu dan aku makin tertekan (konon la, pressure belajar subjek Darjah 3 katanya), aku pun ambil keputusan untuk tulis surat kepada Badan Kaunseling. Dekat tepi Teachers' Room ada satu kotak untuk student yang rasa bermasalah letak surat mengadu masalah. Jadi aku pun buat-la seperti yang dinyatakan di atas.

Esoknya, lepas rehat Miss Khoo panggil aku datang jumpa dia. Dah rasa nak terkencing time tu. Aku fikir kena marah lagi-la nampaknya ni. Rupanya tak. Masa aku jumpa Miss Khoo, dia senyum. Langsung tak nampak marah.

"Awak ada masalah dalam Englsih?"

"Saya... saya tau saya tak pandai, teacher."

"Awak bukan tak pandai. Awak lemah saja, dan awak rasa rendah diri."

"Uh... ma... mana cikgu tau?" *kena ada gagap-gagap sikit, baru dramatik.

"Mesti-la saya tau. Saya kan cikgu kamu."

Aku nangis kat situ gak. Aku cerita betapa aku tak pandai English, eja 'Corrections' pun salah. Dan aku jeles aku tak se-pandai budak-budak lain dalam kelas tu. Miss Khoo kata, nak belajar English kena selalu practise. Macam naik basikal, kena hari-hari kayuh. Baru pandai. Ada lagi yang dia cakap tapi aku dah lupa. Cuma yang aku ingat, tiba-tiba aku rasa sungguh ber-motivasi masa tu. Berkobar-kobar untuk belajar English.

So, dalam kata dah terlambat jugak nak bermula dari basic, aku tebalkan muka pegi library dan pinjam story books untuk Darjah 1 macam Snow White, Sleeping Beauty... yang satu page ada satu ayat je tu, aku baca semula merangkak-rangkak. Biar tak faham, aku tengok kamus. Hari-hari aku baca. Dah rasa terer sikit, aku pinjam buku yang hebat lagi. Sampai ke novel. Dan aku still ingat buku English pertama yang aku berjaya baca sampai habis, tajuk dia 'The Wind in The Willow'. Best cerita tu. Ada Mr.Mole, Mr. Badger, Mr.Frog. Adventure habis.

Dalam class pun aku dah berani speaking-speaking dengan budak-budak Chinese dan India. Aku jadi rapat dengan diorang. Masa tu paling sikit berkawan dengan budak Melayu, diorang tak suka belajar. Aku sekolah Convent, so budak Melayu pun tak-la ramai sangat dan ramai yang kaya-kaya je tapi poyo berlagak nak mampus.

Naik Standard 4, aku dah jadi tutor dalam SAL Project, kira macam program adik angkat la, ajar English dekat budak-budak Standard 1. Rasa bangga sangat. Itu pencapaian paling best aku rasa. It was as if I really went from zero to hero. Cool oh.

Sampai sekarang, aku belum la tip top sangat pun dalam English. I can write well (ok-lah, not so well) lintang pukang je campur-campur. But when it comes to speaking, aku banyak bergantung dengan environment - orang-orang yang boleh aku berborak dalam English dan tak rasa aku cuba berlagak best.

Itu yang aku cuba tingkatkan sekarang. Sebab aku menyesal sikit, baru-baru ni ada dapat call regarding the internship, dari Astro Radio. It was somehow an interview through the phone, mungkin untuk mengesahkan placement aku di Astro nanti. The lady asked me to briefly tell her about my background and experiences. I stammered A LOT. Coz I wasn't ready. And my mind went blank. After I hung up, I thought I did it really bad, I almost blew it away- the chance. But I thought again, they already picked me. It was only for the placement and if I blew it, maybe boleh dapat department lain? But radio is good enough though. Entah la.

Justeru, atas perasaan tidak enak ini-lah yang melahirkan rasa untuk menulis post kali ini. Tiba-tiba teringat Miss Khoo, zaman sekolah dulu-dulu, macam mana I tried really hard to be good in English, macam-macam.

Menulis post di blog ini pun kira satu bentuk latihan jugak. So, if there's any mistake grammatically ka, spelling-nya ka, feel free to correct me.

Sekian, terima kasih.

December 9, 2010

Nervusa

Mi dunno se mi spiko la lingua italia.

Ma, ora mi strata nervusa per mia placementa.

Mi ho non idea dove mi futura interno lavoraro.


Mi non maniaco.


Haha.

December 2, 2010

SMS Gumbira

Hari ni aku dapat SMS gumbira. Ter-sangat.

Orang pertama yang aku harus beritahu, semestinya Mama.

Tutt... tuttt... Aku call Mama, tapi tak berjawab.

Tiba-tiba, ringtone mesej berbunyi. Nama Mama tertera.

Mesej dibaca.

"Ninie call Mama ke tadi? Ma tengah latihan nasyid ni."

"Oo...yeke... takde pape. Nak bagitau je, Ninie dah tau result exam. Alhamdulillah... DL, Ma..."

"Syukur sangat, alhamdulillah. Tahniah, cyg. (short form feveret Mama). Tuhan dengar doa Mama."

Aku terkedu. Tersyahdu seketika. Rasa nak menitis air mata bila Mama sebut ayat terakhir tu.

Memang betul. Aku ingat, selama ni kalau aku berusaha mati-matian, ditambah dengan doa tak henti, mesti aku akan berjaya. Aku silap. Aku lupa. Tanpa doa Mama, tak mungkin aku terima apa yang aku terima hari ni. Even doa aku saja tak cukup untuk buka pintu rahmat Tuhan, tapi doa seorang ibu, lebih makbul dari segala-galanya.

"Mekasih, Ma... Sayang Mama... =)"

"Sama-sama. Cyg Ninie juga. Ni, tadi Mama amik Chung balik umah sebab Tuk Alang masuk spital, ada kawan la balik si Tam tu. Tapi Tam duk panjat si Chung, Tam dah tak kenal Chung, dia ingat Chung kucing betina. ... bla bla bla..."

Panjang pula cerita Mama pasal kucing-kucing tu.

Aku senyum. Aku tak peduli pun kalau kucing-kucing di rumah tu nak jadi adik beradik kucing gay, tapi apa yang Mama cakap tadi masih berbekas dalam hati aku.



Betul. Tuhan dengar doa Mama...

Syukur...

Terima kasih, Ma...

Terima kasih, Ya Rabb....
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